Are you a virgin? The poll is completely anonymous, not even Emilia nor us mods can look at the IPs of the people who vote.

If you feel comfortable, feel free to discuss losing your virginity, plus pros and cons and whatnot. But do not feed the trolls. Also, I'm not going to vote first so that it's not obvious who it is that voted first - otherwise, everyone would assume that the person who votes first is the person who made it.

I'll start off some discussion.

Virginity means different things to different people. There is the technical term, but some people are more strict.

So what does it mean to you?

I think it's penetration. Not the breaking of the hymen, that's just stupid - masturbation and tampons can do that. Actual penis-vagina penetration is losing virginity, imho.

To me it means either sexual intercourse or oral. In my opinion, if someone asks you whether you're a virgin and you say "done everything except..." then you're not a virgin.

At a more existential level, losing your virginity signifies a loss of innocence, a loss of childhood and marks the beginning of adulthood and everything that means (namely sexual and emotional responsibility, as well as other things).

I don't think kids having sex at 13 makes them adults.

I think you can still be a virgin and done oral. You haven't risked pregnancy yet.

That's true, I've always wondered whether or not to include oral. I just see oral as kind of like a loophole. In society, it's not as emotional as intercourse - it doesn't necessarily require that intimate relationship that sex really should, and does to most people, require. If that made sense.

sif include oral in virginity, i'm with pearly's view

Yeah, I understand what you are saying Pearly. But lots of young teens go around just having oral with anyone and everyone. I don't think that is right.

That's what losing my virginity means to me on a personal level, for other people it's different.

13 year olds who have sex aren't adults, I agree with you on that *nod*

Oral is risking STDs though, even if not pregnancy. It's just as intimate if not more so as intercourse.

It's not right, but kids of about year 8 (seems to be the norm - 12 or 13 years old, that is) do. It's because at that age they think they're adults, and thus have to prove it by being 'rebellious'. About the same age they take up smoking and drinking.

Yeah, I agree with you that the loss of virginity should signify growing up and developing independence. Sad thing is, it doesn't. That being said, kids do start to develop a feeling of independence at about 15 or so.

Legal age: 16. Too young?

Umm, personally, I can't see it ever making any difference to anyone ever. I'd hazard a guess that 50% of people lost their virginity under 16.

I agree with your made up statistic

Losing your virginity is having sex, that is all, nothing else. Losing your virginity doesn't make you an adult and sex doesn't have to be intimate. I think that having sex before marriage is fine as long as its consensual and you're being responsible about it, but then again, I'm not religious. People that have strong religious beliefs and follow their religion closely believe that you shouldn't have sex before you're married, as virginity can be considered to be a very sacred and important thing to keep and that you should only have sex with that one special person that you're married to and are going to spend the rest of your life with.

martin wrote: that you should only have sex with that one special person that you're married to and are going to spend the rest of your life with.

I'm sentimental like that.

I think it's a personal maturity thing. Some people are mature enough
for sex and everything it entails at 16, others aren't.

Increasing the legal age isn't going to deter young teens from having
underage sex, it just would just criminalise the slightly older. For
example: say the legal age was 18, and you had a 17 and 19 year old
couple. That isn't much of an age difference (both physically and in maturity), and yet it would be statutory rape. Compare that with a 15 and 17 year old - same amount of years, yet a much bigger maturity gap.

I think that 16 is a fine age limit to legally have sex. That law isn't there to say at what age it is ok to have sex, it is just there for legal purposes and to define what statutory rape is.

I agree with you. I do have respect for those who believe in saving themselves for marriage, however. I just can't see it as necessary or important.

Yeah, people make their own choices and whatever they feel is the right thing to do is fine, as long as they are being responsible about it.

Exactly. Because if they're not responsible, they'll be the ones facing the consequences, whatever they may be.

Yep

I agree more or less with Pearly. I think sex is special, especially losing virginity, but I don't think it needs to wait until marriage, nor is the first time (or sex in general) sacred. I'm not a religious person though, so yeah. I do totally respect people who are pro-no-sex-before-marriage though, I understand and respect where they're coming from.

Sex is sharing yourself with another person, which I think is a very special thing. It requires trust and all the rest of it.

Exactly, but I think that that's the reason that sex is disconnected from oral - oral is much, much more for-the-pleasure, if you know what I mean. Sex itself, on the other hand, carries a lot more emotional weight. Speaking for myself

What age do you all reckon is old enough for someone to be responsible enough to have sex? Not spur-of-the-moment sex, I mean like proper sex that means something, you know? eh, I've probably just made myself sound wanky

lol if someone believes that they are in love at the age of 16 and have found that special someone and its all consensual and they're being responsible, I see no reason why they can't have sex.