I found out that my friend that I've known for quite some time now is gay and it bothers me because I've known him for so long and he finally comes out of the closet. I sort of feel like this song: Sad Song

Any suggestions?

Why does it bother you? There is nothing wrong being gay.

Emilia wrote:Why does it bother you? There is nothing wrong being gay.

I know there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that you know the man for a long time, and he tells you a secret that he's never told anybody. I just feel like I need time to think about this.

Run like hell. No questions. Bail cuz!

That's not very nice. I understand that you're shocked man, I really do. Just try and keep in mind, he hasn't actually changed.

So are you upset that he has kept this secret from you? or that he trusts you enough with a secret so big?
I know you live in Texas and it isn't as accepted as other states in the US, but you really got take this as not a big deal, things shouldn't have to change, you can remain mates, it's not like he is attracted to you and wants to go out with you.

Why do you think he turned gay :3
BAIL CUZ!

People don't 'turn gay' just like that MiniMan. Sexuality is somewhat fluid, but generally if people are gay, they've always been gay.

I don't agree with that, you're not born with a predetermined sexual preference. By nature, everyone is supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex, but people make the choice to be gay due to certain circumstances and experiences that they have. People do turn gay and people could turn back from gay if they really wanted to, no one is doomed to always be gay for the rest of their life or straight for that matter, that is all ****. The last episode of House had a gay guy who had turned straight lol, but that's a fictional tv show, so that can't really prove anything, but as far as my opinion serves me, that's how it works.

If your friend has really turned gay codemaster then that's his choice. If you have a problem with that, then you'll just have to deal with it. A conclusion to your apparent dilemma will happen in the end, you either stay as friends or you fall apart, either way, life goes on.

Sexuality is biological as well though Martin. People who are gay have different brains structurally than people who are straight.

Nobody really knows why people's sexualities are what they are, but it's not wrong to be gay, nor is it a sin or anything else. It's just different.

Plus humans aren't the only animals who have homosexual behaviour - giraffes and other animals have sex with the same gender. So even though science doesn't know why it happens (it's got nothing to do with the continuing of the species for instance), it's not terribly uncommon and it is biological as well as social.

The brain can be restructured at any moment, it is a computer constantly working at full blast, we are constantly thinking, writing new memories and thoughts in our brain, what we see and experience constantly changes the way that we think, to say that a gay person has a brain structured differently to a straight person proves nothing and merely states the obvious and I have nfi what you mean when you say that being homosexual is biological or what you're trying to prove when you say that.

I mean that it's been in brain studies that brains of people of differing sexualities act differently. There are neurochemical differences, meaning that the brain responds differently to different natural chemicals. The brains also look different in their anatomy. And when I say different, I mean the studies have taken a whole bunch of homosexuals and heterosexuals and compared each brain, and have found differences. I can name the areas and explain them if you'd like. There are also differences, at least in men, in levels of testosterone.

The brain isn't static you're right Martin, but there are some things that are set. Who we are is an interaction of both experience and biology, such as genetics.

Narurin wrote:The brains also look different in their anatomy. And when I say different, I mean the studies have taken a whole bunch of homosexuals and heterosexuals and compared each brain, and have found differences. I can name the areas and explain them if you'd like.

I'm a bit over with worrying about his sexual orientation, but I'd love to hear the differences...

I'd be curious to hear these differences too Naru

Martin I can't believe you really think being Gay is a choice. Human's have instincts, what we find attractive is largely determined instinct, we will chose what qualities we find attractive, an example is that a lot of people find a smoker to be an instant turn off, I know I do.

We don't get to chose our instincts, the idea that I could chose to be gay sound ridiculous. I could chose to ACT gay for instance, but I would sure as hell have trouble pretending I wasn't interested in women, I can't turn that off. There are heaps movies about guy's acting gay and incapable of turning off their instinct that attracts them to women. Instincts might be developed by our upbringing and other outside influences, but for the most part we really don't get to chose our instincts, we chose what actions we take based on them.

But, people CAN choose to be gay though. You do have your preferences, but someone could choose to live a gay lifestyle for a while to understand their true self.

Another sad feeling. When you have time, listen to the beginning guitar solo of this song from Metallica. Reminds me of their former band member Cliff, when and how he died: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjlgUx7_aN

Alrighty! Differences I found between homosexual and heterosexual people:

1. Erotic material that is of opposite sexual orientation for both not only doesn’t arouse, but it seems to cause an intense automated response of “that’s gross I don’t want to look at it” that can be seen in the nervous system. This isn’t really a difference between the two, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

2. The corpus callosum is the structure in the brain which connects the left and right hemispheres. In homosexuals, a particular part of it is larger than in heterosexuals. The corpus callosum is 94% determined by heredity.

3. Homosexuals are more likely to be left handed or ambidextrous than heterosexuals.

4. Testosterone (the male sex hormone) levels in the womb are higher for homosexuals of both gender than heterosexuals.

5. One study gives evidence for longer and thicker penises in homosexuals compared to heterosexuals.

6. Points four and five suggest that homosexuals are over-masculinised from before birth, which was somewhat surprising to me because of the popular notions of gay people being 'girly'. Popular opinion is wrong yet again!

7. Studies using animals found that deliberately damaging sections of the hypothalamus (which, among other things, links the hormonal system to the nervous system) causes a change in sexual preference behaviour.

8. I’m sure most of you know that in general men are better at maths and reading maps, but worse at verbal tasks than women. In homosexual men, it seems that they are more ‘female’ in this sense, which suggests a difference in brain organisation and also provides evidence for point two. Lesbians do not show any such difference in these kinds of tasks.

9. Studies with mice suggest that there are differences in the way oestrogen (the female sex hormone) is used, both in the womb and after.

10. There is minimal evidence for parenting being the cause of homosexuality – 90% of sons of gay fathers are heterosexual. There also isn't a lot of empirical evidence for life experiences being a factor in sexual orientation, but there haven't been many studies on it.

Overall, it's not really known what 'causes' homosexuality (or bisexuality for that matter). Sexuality is a complicated thing, there's a lot of things that could be factors. Also science still doesn't know everything about the brain, which makes it difficult to pinpoint exact reasons.

I think those are the main things. I was afraid of going overboard and writing too much, and I think I've included things that are irrelevant. Hopefully I've explained it all properly and I haven't bored anyone out of their skulls. Also, if I haven’t explained anything clearly enough, just say and I’ll try explaining it properly.

That was good Em. Very interesting, except I didn't really like reading point 7.

Yeah this is awesome Emi, some surprising information in there for sure!

Yet another sad story. One of my friends from school, Cory, died on Tuesday. I never knew him personally though.

Wow, what happened?

Sorry to hear

Emilia wrote:Wow, what happened?

Sorry to hear

I haven't asked because it's quite rude, but maybe I'll find out.

My ex's family is having troubles in their relationship. A while back, my ex got in trouble for cursing on my YouTube, and she confessed. Most of the blame went on me at first because they thought I was cursing, since at the time, I had my YouTube connected with my Facebook. She got grounded for a while.

Then, I sent her what my ex showed me. It was a pic of her boobs with her bra on (my ex and I were close). She deleted all my messages except that one, didn't speak to me for a week, and told her dad. He flipped once again, showed my mom, and my mom flipped. Now I'm not allowed to talk to her again. Her family's having troubles, like I said, with their relationship. I was going to have a sit-down with her father, and tell him truly that I was sorry.

I just found out about the relationship troubles, and I want to talk to my ex, which I know won't happen for a long time. We're good friends, but it sucks.

Codemaster? You have one of the most depressing lives i've seen in a while. I mean -- don't take that the wrong way, it's just that a LOT of really bad stuff seems to have happened to you and your friends in the couple of days since Tuesday last week.

If this is all true I'm really sorry for you, but it seems kinda like you're trolling. Your friend tells you he's gay, a person at school dies and your ex is in trouble... doesn't seem possible.

I know this will come off as insensitive but I just didn't think it was possible for 3 things like that to happen in not even a fortnight.

Kingfrozen wrote:Codemaster? You have one of the most depressing lives i've seen in a while. I mean -- don't take that the wrong way, it's just that a LOT of really bad stuff seems to have happened to you and your friends in the couple of days since Tuesday last week.

If this is all true I'm really sorry for you, but it seems kinda like you're trolling. Your friend tells you he's gay, a person at school dies and your ex is in trouble... doesn't seem possible.

I know this will come off as insensitive but I just didn't think it was possible for 3 things like that to happen in not even a fortnight.

Nope. No trolling. You'd be suprised at how much pain and sorrow my city has. Everybody hates everybody mostly. Go to my Facebook and look for Cory Arnold. He really did die. As for my ex, I don't have a pic of her. Same with the gay dude. Also for the gay dude, he has a Steam account, so I'm trying to keep his name hidden because I wouldn't want to upset him.

Fair enough. Sorry if I came across as a bit insensitive. I don't know what else to say but good luck. Hopefully it all improves.