This topic would normally go into the Deep and Meaningful board, but I need as many votes as possible from the guys!

In this poll, choose as many of the options as you like, that are applicable to you.

Also, feel free to comment. This is the Guest Wall, so you do not need an account to vote or comment!

I open doors for everyone, especially hold them open. And I open car doors/pull back chairs for my girlfriend, but not for other girls, cause I'm never really in a situation where it's just me and some other girl

Hey Emily

I think people that open doors ad pull out chairs are a dying breed. I was taught to always respect women and treat them well. But I rarely see anyone else doing it. It's such a shame. That's my two cents worth anyway

Justin

Thanks for the reply Justin. I really appreciate it

I think that I do all of that stuff randomly from time to time, but not usually. I agree with Justin that you don't see many people doing that stuff anymore, but I don't really see it as old fashioned, people still do stuff like that, there is nothing wrong with being polite. The old fashioned way of thinking is believing that you have to do stuff like that for women and that you are being rude if you don't pull out a chair for your lady. People don't really think like that anymore as far as I know, but people are still happy to be polite to others when they feel like it. This doesn't only count for the opposite sex, people do stuff like this all of the time on public transport, giving their seat to someone who needs it more, its just being polite in general. That isn't dead, but the idea of courting a lady and having to do everything for her is old-fashioned.

Ah yes courting: When your father had to take his daughter and the man she was seeing to the date. And you happy we live in more modern times in that regard?

I don't know about the father having to do anything like that, but old-fashioned values are very strict and silly. There is no need for stuff like that really, people should be able to do whatever they want and not have to follow a strict set of rules to appear polite. There are still many values and traditions in society now which are silly as well imo like saying grace before dinner and having to wait for everyone to come to the table before eating dinner, which seems unnecessary, but people follow what they grow up with and as time goes on, society evolves and values change. I think its better now without all of those strict values and rules and stuff like that.

It's true, one of the parents had to go on the date with them.

With the dinner thing, I only do that when we have guests over. When it is just my immediate family, we just eat straight away.

Yeah, my family do the same thing more or less with regard to dinner, but I know some people's families who waits until everybody is at the table before eating, that seems rather strict and silly imo. There are no need for rules like that or how it was long ago, as long as people are respectful to one another its all fine.

My 2 cents. Bein older, and a staunch believer in equality, I refuse to do any of these things for woman. I was around in the feminist movement in the 70s, and have done my thing for equality all my life. Sexism is the discrimination I have fought hardest against. After the womens movement, and the subsequent shift towards equality within the sexes, I then thought it hypocritical to open doors or pull out chairs for women, or other such things.

It needs to be realised these things were first put in place by men, under the umbrellar of doing things for "the weaker sex". Women, were soft, fragile, weak, and needed caring and looking after. It was very much entwined with the sexist view of women being "less than".

So no, I point blank refuse to do anything for a woman, simply because she is one. However, I will open doors, pull out chairs etc, simply because it's a nice thing to do. I am also happy for a woman to do these things for me because of the same reason, its a nice thing to do.

Because I'm so much older, I often have old school women waiting for these things at times. ha ha, bad mistake, they wait for a fair while lol, and it don't happen. That's it for me, expect it, or wait for it, it won't happen. But I will do it of my own violition because its simply a nice gesture.

Hence the strong rules on our game server regarding sexism btw lol.

Cheers

I agree with you there, doing stuff for other people should only be because its a nice thing to do as you said, not to follow a set of old-fashioned rules that are all based around sexist ideals.

martin wrote:Yeah, my family do the same thing more or less with regard to dinner, but I know some people's families who waits until everybody is at the table before eating, that seems rather strict and silly imo. There are no need for rules like that or how it was long ago, as long as people are respectful to one another its all fine.

You're talking about my family here It's the way I was taught, to wait for everyone to have their food before you start, but mainly we do it because my family always says grace before we eat. It defeats the purpose of saying thanks to God for the food after you've already started eating in my opinion. Now it's a habit for me to either wait for everyone else to start eating or follow the crowd. If the people I'm eating with start eating as soon as the food is in front of them, I'll do the same. I don't think it's rude to not wait, unless it's obvious that everyone else is and you're continuing to eat. So in my opinion it's always best to be cautious with this sort of thing, especially at formal dinners.

I voiced my opinion on men opening doors and holding chairs etc in the girl's thread, but I agree with Fodder and Martin - it's good to be polite, but you shouldn't feel like you have to do things for women.

I agree with you fodder. In the girl's thread, I said I like the door opened for me and the chair being pulled out, because they are nice things. The car door one, it makes me look a bit lazy if I have to wait for my boyfriend to get in/out of the car, plus it puts him out of his way to do it.

PS: If you are wondering why fodder's post is grey, it is because I clicked the merci (thank you) button. This also gives him 3 exp. Anyone is able to do this in any thread/reply they think is good.

Didnt even realise that girls were so old fashioned...
but i hold the door open as politness..

girls are old fashioned?

If they like that sort of thing, then yes... they are...

I actually don't think it is all that old fashioned. But I do think it has evolved from the 40's mentality that spawned it (well, a hell of a lot earlier really, but...)

I hold doors and gates open for people if I can. If I am with women, and I am in front, or in a position to, I will hold doors open for them. I will come to a door and see a lady coming at the door and hold it open for her first. I don't think I do that for guys though, it's a kind of subconcious thing, but seems to be angled to women... wierd.

The car door thing.... well I open the car door for my daughter often but not for my wife usually, unless we are getting in a car that we are not driving, then I will.

and the chair thing... I will at restaraunts, or if we are having a dinner party. strangely enough though, I'll do it for my wife and mother in law, though I don't ever remember doing it for my mother or sister!

it really is situational. I don't think it is old fashioned, it is just situational. Women may have waited for that sort of thing before, and the male expected to know, so it just happened, no t so today! if you get there before she does, you get to be chivalrous!

Quoth, you are sweet and a suck up to your mother in law

I'm just kidding.

Thanks for voting and an awesome detailed answer.

Emilia wrote:Quoth, you are sweet and a suck up to your mother in law

I'm just kidding.

Thanks for voting and an awesome detailed answer.

Yeh your right Emilia, he does I reckon

Ha ha Quothage, chivalrous indeed, must be cumbersome in all your armour on that white horse

BUSTED!

Yeah, I open doors for girls, but that's about it. Car doors, chairs, and all that...nopers with a girl I don't know. In a relationship or desiring a relationship, sure thing.

to you all lol

CHIVALRY CAN NOT DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111one ....( I Wont let it -.- ) !!

cake

I'm surprise and disappointed that I did not see this thread before now!

Opening doors for girls is something I was brought up to do and its a nice gesture out of simple politeness. However, I don't follow it as though its a rule or anything, but if the opportunity is there and it requires little to no additional effort on my part, I usually end up doing it.

Naturally I'm far more inclined to do it when I'm friends with the girl, and more so in the case of courting, as I believe it was termed

While I agree with fodder about equality, by no means do I open doors for girls etc because I find them to the weaker sex as he said some men might. I do it because, generally, girls and politeness go hand in hand. It has nothing to do with one sex being weaker than the other but instead a different point of view.

An example is things like swearing or perhaps burping, out of general politeness I try not to do either of these things any of the time, but I cannot help myself occasionally. However I find guys care much less about them than girls do, so I make sure that it doesn't happen in female company where possible.

Being polite in front of girls and to girls is what I have been taught to do, so I do it. Not that I'm not polite when not in female company, simply more so when I am, or so I hope lol. In my experience, I've found it to go down well, after all, who doesn't like people being polite to them?